A Better Way

We took a field trip with a caravan of friends to visit the wonderful A Better Way Farm and Goat Dairy in Waynesboro, Virginia. Ever since we moved to a house with a paddock and barn in the backyard, my daughter has been pleading for a baby goat. As my friend said, a visit to a goat farm truly was “a better way” to indulge her.

The goat farm is a one woman operation. Just a few years ago, Kathy was working at home as a computer programmer. She said she never dreamed she would end up being a goat farmer when she bought her house and land ten years ago. It all started when her youngest daughter asked for some chicks. (At this my friend and I eyed each other. The story sounded ominously familiar). “Chicks,” she said, “are a ‘gateway drug’ for other farm animals.” Soon all she wanted to do was be outside playing with the animals. She quit her job and started building her goat herd. Now all her children have grown and left home, and she runs the farm all by herself. Even though she has 70+ goats she milks by hand, chickens, a newly planted orchard, and bees, she says she’s having so much fun it doesn’t feel like a job at all! On the weekends she gives tours of her farm and from time to time gives workshops on things like goatkeeping, beekeeping, and soap making.

It was a delight to see someone so in her element. She knows each of her goats by name. “Hi, Magpie!” she says as she gives a black and white goat an affectionate head scratch. “My babies!” she cries to triplets, furiously wagging their little tails and clamoring for her attention:

We inquired about one goat who looked rather largish around the middle.

“Is she about to give birth?” my friend asked.

“Oh, that’s my very first goat. She’s not pregnant; she just never regained her figure after having her babies. She forgives you.”

I could definitely relate.

The tour concluded with a taste of creamy, sweet goat’s milk, which one of the visitors described as tasting like “melted ice cream.” We bought some chèvre, feta, and soap – all made from goats’ milk.

And though it was incredibly difficult to resist, we did not buy a baby goat.

Now the girl wants ducklings.

Rogue’s Gallery

I stomped downstairs this morning to confront my husband.

“YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE BACK LAST NIGHT. REALLY HARD.”

“Oh,” he said looking sheepish, “I know.”

I raised an eyebrow so high I almost got a muscle cramp.

“Let me explain.”

“There’s no explanation for domestic abuse.”

“I was having a dream that I was playing frisbee with the kids,” he hastened to say, “And I was doing that move I like to do,

IMG_5242and I guess I actually made the movement with my arm. It woke me up immediately,  (Ummm…ME TOO!!!!!) and I realized what had happened.”

“Well, it still hurts! Really bad. And the psychic wound hurts maybe even more!”

At that moment my son came down the stairs.

“Did you know your dad punched me in the back last night?”

WHAT?” he gasped with gratifying horror.

“Yes, that’s right, your father punched the woman who gave birth to you and your siblings. In the back. While she was fast asleep.”

The perpetrator of the nefarious crime leapt to his own defense.

“ACTUALLY!” he said, pointing to his son, “It was YOUR fault!

IMG_5237 (1)“How is this MY fault?” the poor boy asked, with perfectly understandable indignation.

“YOU’RE the one who wanted me to play frisbee with you.”

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reliving the shame

Sad. Very sad.

 

Easter Weekend

We played outside…

And discovered a sweet surprise in our bluebird box:

It would be impossible to improve upon those adorable little eggs, but we dyed a set of ceramic ones:

We helped “flower” a bare cross covered with wire between Easter services:

You’re never too old for an Easter Egg hunt!

My husband and his new friend…

My friend Victoria came to spend the night with us. I made a salad with the carrot flowers my mom taught me how to make:

After dinner we chatted while my friend worked on some teaching projects:

She brought me some beautiful eggs dyed with natural plant dyes:

And shared some photos of the process:

Weekend Snapshots 36

Friday

For some reason I hadn’t realized I didn’t have to work on Friday. When I was reminded of the fact that it was UVA’s “Spring Break Day,” it was like a gift that fell out of the sky and right into my lap.

My friend and I met for breakfast at Bluegrass Grill & Bakery. Afterward, we popped into Paradox Pastry right next door. I stashed a pain au chocolat  in my purse, and had it later for an extra-decadent lunch for my extra-bonus day.

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I went to all my favorite spots on the Downtown Mall.

Roxie Daisy:

IMG_5075 …always has beautiful, and unusual things. Sometimes I have no idea what these things are, but don’t they look like they would enhance the quality of one’s life somehow?

Caspari is always beautifully styled too:

IMG_5080…but the real reason I go there is to admire the zebra finches. I love that their cage is always lined with pretty wrapping paper:

IMG_5081One couldn’t really consider a pain au chocolat a proper lunch. So I made a pit stop at Timberlake’s Drug Store for a vanilla milkshake to round it off! IMG_5085 O’Suzannah is another favorite:

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I can’t sew a stitch, but for some reason, I love to wander through the color coded rooms at the Second Yard, a fabric store in a creaky old house on Market Street. You can buy furniture and home decor there too:

I still had time before it was time to pick up my daughter from school, so I stopped off at Ivy Nursery. It’s always a pleasure to see the gorgeous displays there:

IMG_5097In the greenhouse there are always friendly women chatting with each other in Spanish as they create lovely arrangements:

IMG_5104Even the pot display is pretty:

IMG_5098I got some plants to fill out the urns we finally transported from our old house to our new house a couple weekends ago:

And a few more, just because I was helpless to resist their charms:

The boys couldn’t stop picking at the pot full of lettuces I brought home. They popped the leaves straight into their mouths!

IMG_5111We capped off the day with our new favorite evening pastime – a game of badminton, using our fence as a net:

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I love the pace of the game – the shuttlecock travels so slowly, I could take photos and return the volley!

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Saturday

My son has been doing rocketry after school. On Saturday we drove a couple of hours to Great Meadow Park in Fauquier County, Virginia to watch his team test the rockets they’ve been working on for months:

IMG_5138 (1)IMG_8298IMG_8275IMG_8308IMG_8329IMG_8316All three flights were clean and the payload of two (raw)! eggs remained undamaged!

That night my daughter followed an online play by play of the UVA/UNC game. I had no interest in the game. My entertainment was watching her reactions:

IMG_8343IMG_8344IMG_8353Yup. Our guys lost.

Sunday

The next morning my very tall ten-year-old daughter wore my dress to church. We can wear the same clothes, but I’m still a little bit taller than her…when she’s not standing on her tippy toes! IMG_5144

 

 

 

More Old Photos

Scan 8

Scan 2

My mother is the third girl with long braids.

Scan 5 (1)Scan 6

Scan 4

Newlyweds

Weekend Snapshots 35

Saturday

Pippin Hill Vineyard. It was a beautiful evening for my beautiful friend’s “Celebration of Life.” We arrived just as the sun was setting…

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My friend is gone, but her spirit remains. After listening to moving remembrances of an extraordinary woman and a life well-lived, we stepped out into the night under a big gorgeous canopy of a million twinkling stars. As we looked up at the heavens to admire the spectacular sight, my husband said, “That’s Carla.”

Sunday

We spotted the first crocus of spring…At our old house, I knew exactly what to look for, because I had planted everything. I dug up some of my favorite plants to move to our new house, but there are so many other beloved plants I left behind. I’m going to miss my blue and purple crocus lawn, the Virginia bluebells, and my grand old tree peony, but I’m looking forward to seeing what pops up this spring at our new house.

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Migration

I miss those gypsy parents of mine. They moved back to Korea a little less than a week ago. I’ve been scanning old family photos and came across a couple that capture my mother at the liminal moment of another, earlier migration – between earth and sky, between two continents, between single and married life.

I believe it is February 1963. My mother is twenty-six. She is getting ready to board the plane that will take her to meet my father in San Francisco, where he is studying. In her suitcase already loaded in the cargo hold is a carefully-folded, white silk hanbok. She will wear it as her wedding dress when she gets married, just days after her long journey to America. I’m guessing it’s her father who is taking photos of his eldest child as she leaves home for the first time – to go so far away, and for who knows how long?

She looks jaunty in her black coat and kitten heels. Her departure was delayed when an x-ray scan revealed traces of the tuberculosis she once had. She was required to wait out a year-long quarantine before being cleared to fly. A year is a long time to wait for the next part of your life to begin. She smiles boldly now as she waves goodbye to her parents.

She has always been a pioneer: the first-born, a big sister and second mother to her siblings:

Mother

Mother

Mother

Mother

She is a drama queen:

My mother...on the left!

My mother…on the left!

She has always been known for being brash…

Mother

the leader of her pack:

Mother

Mother

I imagine she is trying to reassure her parents with that cheerful smile and wave she gives as she walks towards the plane. I imagine she must be filled with anxiety. She has never been on a plane before. She has never been so far away from her parents before. She is flying to a new country where the language is foreign to her, to be married to a man she hasn’t seen in over a year.

At the door of the plane she turns back for one last look. Her father takes one last photo of his daughter before he loses sight of her. She thinks she’s far enough away so that her parents won’t see that she’s crying.

wedding

By the end of the year she will be a mother. In no time at all, there will be four of us – too many children for a graduate student to support. My mother will take us all to go to Korea to live for a couple years while my father finishes up his degree. My father must be miserable to see his family depart, especially his beloved, long-awaited son – finally born after three girls:

He sends postcards like this one in which he enjoins his infant son to be the man of the house and to take good care of his mother and sisters:

And though my parents try to bridge the great distance with letters and by mailing audio tapes back and forth, our father will become a stranger to us during those years.

In this photo we’re getting ready to board a plane to reunite with him at long last. He has found his first teaching job in Florida. We will meet him there.

 

Farmette

As I write this, my parents are on a plane heading back to Seoul. They are moving back to the high rise apartment they left – (we had thought for good) – about six years ago. I wonder how my dad will get on without the garden he was so happy to come home to in Arlington. Will he dream about the row of pine tree saplings he planted when they first arrived…the ones which my mother would scornfully refer to as his “sticks,” when she’d see him from the window tenderly fussing over them? Will he regret not seeing the peonies, peach and cherry trees bloom in his own yard this spring?

For many years, my dad tried to put his farm boy roots behind him. He ferociously, voraciously pursued degree after degree. Even today, at the age of 80, after acquiring a couple masters degrees, a doctorate, and a J.D., he still seriously weighs the possibility of going back to school again. But no matter how many degrees he accumulates, no matter how many scholarly tomes he writes, he will always be a man of the earth. The proof is in the combination arboretum, botanical garden, and vegetable plot he manages to cram into every tiny suburban yard he’s ever had at his disposal. The proof is in the quail eggs and incubator he ordered from an ad he found in a Field and Stream magazine. (If they had hatched – Lord knows where we would have kept them)! The proof is in his book shelves, in which Goats and Goatkeeping can be found among volumes on philosophy, theology, and law.

 

Goats and GoatkeepingSometimes genes express themselves in the weirdest ways…

I’ve always been an animal lover, but my husband is an animal-barely-tolerator. Every now and then I indulge myself in a little harmless entertainment…I freak him out by suggesting that I’m going to bring home another puppy, or by getting all misty-eyed as I rhapsodize about a long-cherished fantasy. I describe to him my dream of having an animal farmette, populated only with cute animals: a sheep or two, some goats, a few fluffy little bunnies, some ducks, a bunch of dogs, and maybe a miniature pony. He listens to me in silence, with growing waves of alarm clouding his face as I wax on about my little menagerie.

“What is it with you and animal husbandry?” he will finally ask in utter bewilderment.

One day I was looking out of my office window, which overlooks the Amphitheater at the University of Virginia. Pens were being set up with miniature llamas, sheep, cows, goats, bunnies, horses, and chickens. It turns out that the University Programs Council periodically brings in a petting zoo for the students’ pleasure. I was at once elated, and filled with burning, insane jealousy of whoever stole my dream:

We’ve moved to a new house with a two stall barn, a paddock, run-in shed, and chicken coop. They all stand empty.

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So far, I’ve parried and dodged the many earnest entreaties for livestock that my children have thrown my way. (Of course, they know better than to importune their father). I’m trying to stay strong, but every now and then I sense myself weakening…

Every day on our way home, we pass two different herds of goats. I can hear my daughter coo and sigh with delight in the backseat whenever she catches sight of them.

“I wish we could have a baby goat,” she says in a voice filled with yearning.

I usually pretend I can’t hear her, but one day a couple weeks ago, I allowed myself to actually consider the idea.

“Do some research,” I told her, shocking myself as I heard the words came out of my own mouth, “If it’s really easy to keep a goat, maybe we could think about it.”

When we pulled into our driveway, she couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. She ran into the house and hit the interwebs. She was at it until it was time for her to go to bed.

She came to find me in the living room to report her findings…

“The only complicated thing is that they have to have some kind of mineral supplement that we, well you would have to buy…And you have to have a really good fence to keep them in, and to keep predators out. And even though they’re supposed to eat anything, it turns out that some plants like azaleas and cherry trees are actually poisonous to goats…”

“Hmmm,” I said, “I’m going to do a little research of my own and we can discuss it in the morning.”

I poked around on the internet myself and discovered a bunch of things my daughter hadn’t mentioned…The fact that they would require specialized veterinary care: the semi-annual filing down of hoofs, vaccinations, and deworming; the fact that they must have companionship; and the fact that they are master escape artists. It was all rather overwhelming.

The next morning I gave my unsuspecting husband a pat and said without any further explanation, “You don’t know how lucky you are.”

This time.

 

Genealogy

In the book of Genesis
There are lists of begats,
But no poetry until
Eve is knit from Adam’s rib.

In ancient Egypt, Ra whispered
The secret names of our ancestors,-
Divine afflatus made flesh by
Incantation, sweat, and tears.

Or perhaps it was Prometheus
Who fashioned our forebears out of clay,
And the sacred breath of Athena that
Is preserved in our lungs to this day.

Some say in a kingdom oceans away
The crowing of a white rooster led a king
To the baby in a golden box perched high in a tree –
Whose adoption marks the origin of my lineage.

Doesn’t everyone’s story begin with a miracle?
With efforts of will or imagination?
In living we participate in the act of creation,
And our roots spread wherever we plant them.

 

Weekend Snapshots 34

Friday

I love my book group. We read a book every month and then meet to have rarefied, high-brow discussions about what we’ve read. We NEVER for a second let the conversation drift to things like our children or what’s going on at work.

IMG_8031In keeping with the lofty nature of our gatherings, we make an effort to dress up for the occasion. In fact, we have a rather strict dress code:

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Saturday

The day started out so well.

IMG_8029We were all lazing about, soaking up the sun streaming through the windows…IMG_8038Taking kids to their indoor soccer games…

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Taking photos of this, that, and nothing at all:

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Suddenly I realized it was time to take my daughter to her soccer game. As soon as we got back, it would be time to go serve dinner to the group of homeless men who are being hosted by our church for the next couple of weeks. I was supposed to have prepared a Chicken Enchilada dish in advance so that it could just be reheated in the ovens in the church kitchen, but I had lost track of the time. My husband was taking my oldest son to his soccer game, and then almost immediately to his piano recital. They would be meeting us at the church as soon as the recital was over.

I only had time to chop up the chicken breasts and open a can of enchilada sauce. It was up to my thirteen year old son to save the day. I handed him the recipe as I ran out the door, begging him to follow the instructions and to finish making the dish while I  took my daughter to her game.

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I was sweating bullets as I drove back to pick up my son and hopefully the Chicken Enchilada dish. Proving once again that he is the adult in our household, he was in the kitchen when I ran through the door, waiting to take the finished dish out of the oven.

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My hero!

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Sunday

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Brunch at Bodo’s Bagels

We made a pit stop at MarieBette Café and Bakery to pick up a few things like a baguette:

And a crazy looking thing called a brioche almandine studded with mysterious pink chunks my daughter described as looking like wads of chewed up bubble gum:IMG_8074IMG_8080

And then, because we clearly did not have enough dessert, we whipped up a batch of our new favorite cookies from the Princess Pinky Girl website. The recipe’s main ingredient is strawberry cake mix. We substitute coconut oil for vegetable oil. IMG_8059

To be honest, the only reason I made the cookies the first time was because they looked so pretty in the photo. Mine always end up being aesthetically disappointing, but they never fail to be delicious!

Silliness while waiting for the cookies to bake:

It’s snowing now as I finish up this post. We’ve already gotten the call from the county to announce that there will be no school tomorrow. My husband recorded and emailed to his students a video of the lecture he was going to give tomorrow. Here’s hoping I get to stay home with them too!