As I was leaving for work this morning I found my son cowering in a corner of the garage. He was whimpering in sheer terror because of this:

GAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Yes. This three inch monstrosity was ever so casually hanging out in my garage this morning, terrorizing my child and laying waste to the sweet innocence of his childhood.

THE HELL?!

I guess I didn’t make it perfectly clear that he’s not welcome around here when I hurled him into the woods shrieking profanities in the dark night the last time he showed up in our lives. Before we could chase him out of the garage he scuttled under the car and disappeared. Don’t think I didn’t try to run over him as I backed out of the garage. Unfortunately, he’d already taken cover in a corner somewhere. There he sits lurking, just waiting for the opportunity to come back into the house. So I guess I won’t be sleeping ever again.