Crusty Old Farts, Cavemen, and Colonists

For some reason we’re finding it really hard to get motivated to put up the Christmas decorations this year. Just yesterday I remembered the beautiful quilted advent calendars my mother-in-law lovingly sewed for each of my children. Every year we hang the three calendars from the kitchen counter and I scramble to find something to fill three different pockets for the 24 days before Christmas. (72 things)! It’s already December 14th and I’m only now remembering the existence of those calendars. The Noah’s Ark advent calendar has also not yet been unearthed from the bowels of our basement. Neither has the Fisher Price creche set. Every year at church we make an advent wreath with five candles. At dinner time we would always light a candle for every week leading up to Christmas. The last candle is lit on Christmas day. We missed the actual wreath-making event this year, but got the supplies to do it at home ourselves. They’re still sitting, untouched, on our kitchen counter. IMG_0579Even our Christmas tree is only partly decorated.

As I drove my kids to school this morning, I tried to rouse them into action, (because Lord knows I’m a lost cause).

“Hey, guys! Why don’t you finish putting up the decorations on the tree when you get home from school today?”

My son answers, “Hanging decorations is not my thing. I don’t think it’s fun at all. I consider it to be a chore.”

Even though I heartily agree with him, I say, “Hey! Quit acting like an old man. You’re only ten years old, for Pete’s sake…Well, T, I guess you’re going to have to work a little harder to make up for us old fogeys.”

Caveman farting, by Teddy

Caveman farting

“What’s a fogey?” my son asks suspiciously.

“An old fogey is a crusty old fart,” I reply.

“Wait a minute. Did you just call me a fart?!”

“Ummm, no, actually. I called you a crusty. old. fart.”

This exchange sparks another intellectual line of inquiry.

“Do you think cavemen farted?” he asks.


“Do you think the colonists farted?”

“Most definitely.”

“Well, do you think it was considered rude for colonists to fart?”

Colonist farting, by Nicholas

Colonist tooting

We will seek out the answers to these eternal questions tomorrow (today) as we embark upon the birthright of every child growing up in the great Commonwealth of Virginia. Yes, my friends: another month, another Colonial-themed field trip. This time I’ll be chaperoning my son’s 5th grade field trip to Colonial Williamsburg. I’ll report back our findings next week. Until then, hope your weekend is wonderful.

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One thought on “Crusty Old Farts, Cavemen, and Colonists

  1. Pingback: Hey blog… | melanie's blog

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