This girl…

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First Day of Elementary School

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Elementary School Graduation

We’d been preparing for my daughter’s graduation for months. As I drove her to school, we would discuss the particulars: what she should wear, the fact that she should – for this very special occasion – actually comb her hair, etc. Most importantly, I apologized to her in advance for the fact that there would be ugly crying. I explained to her that it simply couldn’t be helped. She would have to avert her gaze and pretend that her mother was not disgracing herself in the audience with racking sobs and snot streaming out of her bright red nose.

Nothing went as planned. The dress I thought she would wear was too small for her. I pulled a dress out of my own closet and it fit her perfectly. She put on a pair of my ballet flats and they fit perfectly too. When we stood back to back, I realized she had snuck past me. My ten year old daughter is now about an inch taller than me.

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It was only a week before her graduation when I realized I would not be able to be there. I broke the news to her in the car as I drove her to school one morning.

I’m so sorry, I’ve got some really sad news. I just realized that I’m going to have to miss your graduation because of my conference in Denver, and I’m absolutely devastated!

I never realized until that very moment that it’s actually possible to hear and feel someone grinning from the back seat.

My husband texted me photos of the graduation as it was happening. I stood transfixed in the middle of a busy Expo Hall as the photos came through one by one. People rushed around me, politely averting their gaze, as I stood there staring at my phone with big fat tears streaming down my face.

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Mamas and babies

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks, during which time I: helped chaperone a trip to Virginia Beach for my daughter’s 5th grade class, ferried her to two soccer tournaments, ferried my son to his soccer tournament, got him packed up for a two-week program at NYU, sold our old house, went to a work conference in Denver, cried in the middle of the Expo Hall as my husband texted me photos of my daughter’s elementary school graduation in real time, helped pick out the winning (two) covers for my sister’s upcoming novel, and almost died returning back to Charlottesville.

To get back in the swing of things, here are a few photos from the trip to Virginia Beach, the annual field trip for the fifth graders right before they graduate…kind of a baby version of Beach Week for graduating high schoolers and college students.

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Learning about whelks at the Virginia Living Museum in Newport News

See that long, wavy thing that vaguely looks like a pasta noodle? I learned that each segment at one time contained a baby whelk in the making!IMG_9635

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There she goes! Leaping into new adventures…

Everyone had breakfast at the Golden Corral, where I witnessed another freaky sight:

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Deep fried bacon!

Next stop: the Virginia Aquarium:IMG_5716

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Hello!

The octopus was working on opening a prescription pill container:IMG_9833IMG_9844

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This is what happened when I asked the girls to pose for a photo…

The highlight of the day was the Dolphin Discovery boat ride:

IMG_5720Mama dolphins and their days old babies came up to our boat to check US out and say hello!

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Dear Tina

One of my closest friends is moving far away in just a few weeks. This is a bitter pill to swallow. Tina was one of my first friends in Charlottesville. Our children have grown up together. We‘ve grown up together. I had always assumed that eventually – we would grow old together.

One of the many things we did together over the years was to build a network of friends through a book group made up of kind, generous, brilliant, creative, and hilarious women. One of them rightly stated that it’s been Tina, who has been the glue that has bound us all together. She has hosted our get togethers every month for years and has plied us with dishes so decadent as to banish the thought of any foolish resolution made in a moment of self-delusion. On a diet? Forget about it! Gluten free? How adorable! No sugar diet? Pssssht! Lactose intolerant? Too bad! You might have to pay for it later, but in the moment? Oh, but in the moment you could not help but indulge in the sinful concoctions she would whip up for us. We would come dressed in our pjs, adjust the recliners just so, and settle in for a night of food, conversation and so much laughter. Tina would buzz about refilling glasses, cutting outrageously large slices of cake to put on our plates, draping comfy throws over our legs…

On Sunday it was our turn to host Tina. Our book group got together to take her out for dinner and to send her off in style. It was graduation weekend here in Charlottesville, which made it impossible to book a table for nine locally. We decided to take our party over the mountain to go to the award-winning farm to table restaurant Zynodoa in Staunton. I told Tina I would pick her up in my Chariot of Fire, aka my 14 year old beater minivan with 250,000 miles on it, but as a special surprise – one of our friends booked a limo.

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PTO President by day, Party Queen by night!

We rolled up to Tina’s house and I was dispatched to knock on her door. That’s when things got interesting. The evening started off with a no-holds barred wrestling match. There was blood! There was mud! And it was all captured on film! The next part of this post is in the form of a letter addressed to the woman who took me down like a cheap folding chair…

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Dear Tina,

We’ve been through so much together over the many years that we’ve been friends…

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“You don’t mind riding in my rattletrap minivan, do you? I did vacuum it just for you…”

We’ve had lots of adventures…

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(I love that there’s some kind of tractor parked right next to the limo)!

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“Surprise!”

We’ve had our ups…IMG_9509

And our downs…

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But through it all, we’ve always been there for each other. We’ve dropped everything to help each other get back onto our feet when life (or say, a dear friend) has knocked us down on our asses…

We’ve laughed until we’ve cried. (And sometimes we’ve cried until we’ve laughed).

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We’ve shared amazingly wonderful times with amazingly wonderful friends…

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“Wait, why is my head three times bigger than yours? Are we even the same species?”

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“You need to go waaaaay in front so that our head sizes can be even.”

Wherever you go…however far away you may be…

IMG_5673We will always adore wonderful, o wonderful you!

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Weekend Snapshots 37

This was the weekend I became my mother.

Friday

I made the classic rookie mistake. I didn’t check for toilet paper before choosing a bathroom stall and doing my business. Where there should have been two industrial-sized rolls of toilet paper – there was jack squat. I sat there for a few long moments contemplating the unsavory options before me. I was saved when I suddenly remembered the extra, unused napkins I had stashed in my capacious bag when I took the kids out for lunch last weekend. They had snickered when they saw me doing it, just as I used to snicker whenever my mom would put extra napkins, ketchup packets, etc. into her bag.

“Just like Grandma,” they said shaking their heads.

Later that day I was driving my daughter home from a playdate when I spotted some adorable daisies – weeds, really – growing along the side of the road. Daisies always remind me of my mother. They are one of her favorite flowers.  She carried them in her wedding bouquet and they had a special place in her flower garden.

I stopped the car and yanked a bunch out to plant in my own garden:

My daughter was shrieking with laughter when I got back into the minivan clutching my daisies with clods of dirt falling from their roots: “You’re becoming just like Grandma!”

The first time my mother visited us when we moved to Charlottesville, we took her for a tour of the campus, (“Grounds”).  We stopped to admire a hedge of wild roses that had been planted by the building where my husband’s office was located. My mother methodically picked rose hips off the bushes.

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I looked uneasily about to see if anyone was witnessing the plundering of the rosebushes.

“Here!” she said, handing them to me, “Try planting these in your garden. If any come up, give me some!”

Later we walked along the Downtown Mall. At each of the large black planters placed at intervals along the pedestrian walkway she would stop to admire the lush flowers. Whenever she spotted flowers that had gone to seed, she would casually pull them off.

I shrank with embarrassment, but she handed them to me saying, “These will look beautiful in your garden!”

It’s been raining for weeks now. Every morning as I drive to work I think about all the things I’m going to do in my garden the minute I get home. Some days I don’t even bother changing out of my work clothes. I just throw on a pair of garden gloves and rush outside to the garden. I’ve found myself outside in the rain almost every day, sometimes in the pitch black, sometimes dodging lightning bolts…I remember watching my mother do this when I was a child.

“MOM! You’re getting soaked! Come in!” I’d say.

“It’s the best time to plant,” she’d reply, waving me away with her gloved hand.

Saturday

All the kids’ soccer games were rained out, so we spent the day running errands. We had left a bunch of paint cans for the people who are buying our house, thinking they might like to have them for future touch ups. After the home inspection they asked us to remove them, so I dropped by our old house with my daughter and her friend to gather them up. My heart sank when I heard a crash.

“Uh-oh!” I heard my daughter say, “Mommy?”

I ran upstairs to discover that she had dropped one of the paint cans on the kitchen floor. The paint was oozing all over the tile. After a major freak out, I remembered there was a roll of paper towels in the garage. My elation turned to despair when I realized there were only two sheets left on the roll.

“Now what am I going to do?!” I groaned out loud.

My daughter piped up, “Don’t worry, Mom! You have a million napkins in your bag!” And so I did!

Sunday

My son’s piano recital.

 

He was the final performer, so I had a couple hours of high anxiety until it was his turn at last. I’ve listened to him play his two pieces over and over for months. He had never gotten to the point where he was able to play through the pieces flawlessly every single time. I’m glad to report that he played them beautifully.

We went to Crozet Pizza, a Charlottesville landmark, to celebrate:

When we got home at last, my sweet daughter put her arm around me and said, “You should go have a nap now, Mommy, so you can be rested up for your fun night with your friends in Staunton.” (More on that later).

“Now who’s being just like Grandma?” I thought as I gave her a big hug.

 

 

 

Pentecost

IMG_5633We had to scramble a bit to make sure everyone had something red to wear, as we were instructed to do, for Pentecost Sunday.

“What is Pentecost?” my daughter asked.

“I have no idea,” I replied as I pulled out a red skirt from my closet for her to try on. I’ve grown up going to church all my life and have never once celebrated Pentecost.

A quick internet search set me straight. In case you don’t know what Pentecost is either…Pentecost means “50,” because it’s the 50th day, or seventh Sunday after Easter. On this day a sudden rush of winds filled the house where followers of Christ were gathered together. The Holy Spirit appeared to the apostles in tongues of flame (hence the red), and everyone began speaking in different languages. The apostle Peter preached his first sermon to those who were gathered, and so this day is celebrated as the birthday of the Christian church.

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Weekend Project

This boy decided that we needed…IMG_9311…a putting green in the backyard!

He and his dad got to work with the lawnmower.

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Flying through the air with the greatest unease

It’s not every day that you get to try out something you’ve only ever seen performed at a circus! When I assembled the kids on the couch to announce that my sister had arranged for them to have a trapeze lesson over their spring break, this was their reaction:

Why is Auntie Sissy so awesome?!” my son exclaimed in wonder.

I don’t know if I’m more scared or excited,” my daughter said.

As we drove to the venue, I confirmed to my sister that I had gone online to fill out the requisite forms.

Do you mean liability forms?” my son asked from the backseat.

Mmmhmmm” I replied as nonchalantly as I could.

The Trapeze School New York in Washington DC is in a hangar-like building, right across from Nationals Park and the Navy Yard Metro.

The kids got strapped into their super tight – forget about breathing – organ-crushing belts.

After some brief instructions, they chalked their hands and got ready to climb an extremely tall ladder:

In the video of my 13 year old’s first try on the trapeze, you can hear the teacher instructing him to jump on “hep.” He can’t quite bring himself to actually jump off the platform the first time, so the teacher gently repeats the command.

The boy never did get his knees over the bar, but days later I discovered that he had done something far more remarkable.

We were reminiscing about his amazing trapeze adventure when I asked my son,”Was there ever a time during the lesson when you thought – Nah, this is way too scary. I’m not going to jump.”

“Yeah!” he replied.

“But just the first time, right?” I asked.

“No. Every single time I got up to the platform, I seriously thought about not jumping and just climbing back down the ladder.”

I’ve always told my kids that you can’t be brave without being scared. If the level of fear they felt is commensurate with their level of bravery – I think they should all be draped and festooned with medals right now! I had no idea that he was so scared…I was so proud of him for climbing that ladder and taking that enormous leap of faith over and over again.

Speaking of scared, you might be wondering where my 10 year old daughter was while all of this was happening. She was lying on the ground – with the saddest look on her face. Kind of like the fish we had seen in the aquarium the day before:

For the first hour, you could see that she was at war with herself. She couldn’t bring herself to give it a try and was getting more and more upset as her brothers took their turns. Finally, one of the instructors came over and said that doing the trapeze is all about gaining a sense of accomplishment by pushing through fear. He suggested that her goal for the day could simply be to climb the ladder.

She pondered this, but was intimidated by the thought of taking even that step. One kind lady, a trapeze veteran, walked over and offered to climb up right behind her to spot her from behind. She kept resolving to try it, but would change her mind the next second. We kept reassuring her that she didn’t have to do it if she didn’t want to, but finally, she decided to go for it! We whooped and cheered for her when she made it to the top of the ladder! We could hardly wait for her to climb back down to give her a congratulatory hug… We were surprised to see that the instructor at the top was rehooking her harnesses.

And then this happened:

When she got back down, I asked her why she had decided to go for the swing.

“I think the instructor at the top didn’t realize I was just going to climb the ladder. She just assumed I was going to jump. So I did.”

Flush with the thrill of her accomplishment, we all asked her, “Do you want to go again?!”

“No.”

And I could totally respect that!

Baltimore in 2 days with 3 kids, Pt. 2

It was this kid’s 16th birthday!

We got tickets to the National Aquarium for 9 am…just in time to see the sharks eat their breakfast of fish and squid…They’re kept well-fed so they don’t eat their smaller tank mates:

This giant sea turtle was a rescue. He had to be amputated because of an infection, but he’s doing just fine now.

My favorites were the Jellyfish:

We got a couple of little bitty shrimp at the gift shop for my birthday boy:

We did a quick stroll through the Baltimore Civil War museum, which happens to be right across the street from our hotel. It’s located in what used to be the President Street Station…

And then we walked to Miss Shirley’s for lunch. It was worth the longish wait:

We were excited to take a ride on the Chessie boats:

…but sadly, they were not running.

We took a water taxi instead. It’s a great deal at $14 for unlimited rides all day.

It turned out to be a relaxing way to get great views of the Harbor.

We hopped off to go to the American Visionary Arts Museum, a place I’ve been wanting to visit for years. The description of “visionary art” is a bit vague – “art produced by self-taught individuals, usually without formal training, whose works arise from an innate personal vision that revels foremost in the creative act itself.” Although it was not always the case, in many instances the art was created by people who were mentally ill.

You can’t even imagine how sad I was not to be able to take pictures inside the museum! It is filled with extraordinary art. It also has a spectacular museum shop.

Word to the wise: It was only after we were taking the water taxi back to our hotel for dinner that I realized the booklet we were given when we bought our tickets was full of coupons, some of which we could have used for a lower entrance fee at the museum.

After dinner we went for another walk along the water. We strolled to Fell’s Point, an historic neighborhood with bars, restaurants and boutiques.

By this time, my daughter was flagging and wanted to get back to the hotel. We thought we’d take a short cut back, and blundered into a not so nice neighborhood. Once we hustled our way out of there, we decided to make one last stop at The Power Plant to visit the enormous Barnes & Noble café:

Back at the hotel, we watched another movie and then hit the hay.

And that was Day 2 of our Baltimore Adventure. We were sad to be leaving Baltimore, but excited about the amazing adventure my sister had planned for the kids in Washington DC the next day…

Baltimore in 2 days with 3 kids

  • We were thoroughly charmed by the two days we spent in Charm City. Here’s our itinerary…

Wednesday

We left C’ville for Baltimore at 9 am.

We drove straight to Fort McHenry, arriving around noon (after one impromptu stop to visit Yoder’s and the petting farm). My 13 year old history buff was especially anxious to visit the star-shaped fort, the scene of the epic battle during the War of 1812, which inspired Francis Scott Key to write The Star Spangled Banner.

Inside the Visitors Center you watch a short movie in which the battle is reenacted. At the conclusion of the movie, the screen dramatically flies up to reveal a huge window overlooking the fort over whose ramparts flies the American flag. Everyone stands up and, hands over hearts, sings The Star Spangled Banner. I have to admit, I got caught up in the moment. There just may have been a tear welling in the corner of my eye. And then I heard my 16 year old say, “This is so cheesy.” And it totally was. But stirring nevertheless.

We drove to the Homewood Suites by Hilton Baltimore, where we would spend the next couple of days. The hotel is in an excellent location, not quite overlooking the water, (at least from our suite), but a very short walk away from the Harbor. They serve a complimentary breakfast every day and a complimentary dinner with wine and beer Monday through Thursday. The food was not spectacular, but decent. There always seemed to be at least one standout item at every meal that was actually delicious: buttery croissants, hash browns, super fresh caesar salad, etc.

After checking out our room and having a brief rest, we headed out to walk around the neighborhood:

We walked over to the World Trade Center and went up to the Observation Deck to get 360 degree views of the city:


We walked back to the hotel for dinner and then headed to Little Italy for dessert  at Vaccaro’s:

We may have gotten a little carried away:

Despite our valiant efforts, we had to bring almost all of it back to the hotel to stash in the freezer.

We watched a movie and then headed to bed. We had two double beds and a sleeper sofa, but my silly girl insisted that she wanted to sleep here:

(She eventually did crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night)!

Day One: DONE!

Country Markets

Last Wednesday we left for a two day trip to Baltimore.

IMG_5301.jpgThe kids’ backseat banter set the tone for the trip.

Caesar v. Shaka Zulu. Who would win?

Me from the driver’s seat – What’s Shaka Zulu?

There was an uncomfortable silence and then I heard: You mean who is Shaka Zulu?

Uh, yeah, ok: who is Shaka Zulu?

I could sense the pity and disbelief as the boys explained to their shockingly ignorant mother who Shaka Zulu was.

Kids v. Me. Kids, obviously.

We didn’t get too far up 29 before we spotted Yoder’s Country Market. Despite the fact that it’s not too far from where we live AND has a petting farm, we’d never been.

IMG_5334.jpgWe’ve been missing out!

The aisles are full of interesting things such as baking supplies like this. I’m pretty sure you can’t find “Pure as Snow Cake Flour” at Harris Teeter.

IMG_5302There were lots of baked homemade goods made by Mennonites in their own kitchens, as well as other groceries like local organic meat, dairy products, and vegetables.

The next time we go, we’ll try out the café. We were sorely tempted to try the hand dipped ice cream, but thought it would be too decadent to have it at 9:30 am.

Decadence v. Restraint. Restraint. This time.

Our greatest discovery was this:

IMG_5340It’s almost scary how addictive these are.

After stashing our purchases in the car, we strolled over to the petting farm:

Peacock v. Turkey:

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The turkey definitely came out on top. But just wait till November.

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Ruffled feathers

My birds v. the Rhea birds:

IMG_5321IMG_5327A draw!

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Ready for my close up.

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“I can’t decide if that duck is having a really bad hair day, or a really awesome hair day!”

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Pig v. pig

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ALL MINE!

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You lookin’ at me?

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Girl v. baby goat. Baby goat. No contest. She’s smitten.

We had such a good time at Yoder’s that on our way back home after our trip to Baltimore, we decided to check out another country store we’d always driven past, but had also never visited:

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Yoder’s v. The Ole Country Store & Bakery? Yoder’s for the win.

The Ole Country Store didn’t have a petting farm or the crazy good Mediterranean Cocktail Snacks.

Yoder’s v. Us.

Yoder’s!

We crossed four busy lanes of traffic to go back to Yoder’s on the opposite side of the highway for one last visit…and to buy two more bags of Mediterranean Snacks!

Decadence v. Restraint. Decadence, baby.

Tomorrow: Baltimore in 2 days with 3 kids.